Luca Toni’s “sort of” apology

Martin Demichelis tries to sound like a leader, fails then decides to tell us where he’d rather be

File under: Double up on Dutch
Beckenbauer and Hoeness begin preparing the hard landing for Louis van Gaal. Bonus: Doctor’s comment on Franck Ribery’s teeth.

From “who are you going to get?” to “I’m about to get fired”

Beckenbauer and Hoeness actually admit an error! (Warning-translation is pretty bad, best to read auf Deutsch if able)

File under: Somebody loves me
Expect to see more Holger Badstuber at left back.

Meanwhile, Badstuber returns the love to his coach.

Irresistible force vs. Immovable Object:
Bayern Munich are set to take on table-topper Bayer Leverkusen at 9:30 a.m. Eastern on Sunday. The match will be shown live at ESPN360.com and on ESPN Deportes.

Although the visitors from the northwest haven’t won in Munich in 20 years, that seems to be about the only stat in our favor. It’s hard to find a lot of weaknesses in Bayer Leverkusen’s game, and it may be even harder to find something bad to say about them, considering our erstwhile coach Jupp Heynckes has finally molded this maturing group into a consistent, competitive team. In contrast to Bayern’s transfer flops, Leverkusen made moderate, targeted purchases with Sami Hyypiä and Eren Derdiyok, which have stabilized a suspect defense and softened the blow of losing Patrick Helmes to injury quite nicely. Leverkusen will be without Simon Rolfes and Renato Augusto due to injury, and though the club was a bit unlucky in two draws to Dortmund and Schalke, step-in Stefan Reinartz scored his first Bundesliga goal in the last match against Frankfurt. Be sure to check out the Bayer 04 Offside for more on the match.

Bayern and Louis van Gaal enter the match with backs now firmly planted against the wall, but that won’t help the injury situation very much. Ribery is still out and Arjen Robben is now rated “very doubtful”. So much for the amazing healing powers. In addition, Edson Braafheid and Danijel Pranjic are both said to have “seasonal flu”. Could it be transfer-seasonal flu? Ivica Olic is still a week away, although progressing nicely. Perhaps the best chance of Bayern scoring is the fear of Miroslav Klose, who was cleared to return to practice Thursday after several days in quarantine because his children had swine flu. You never know, Rene Adler may have a Howard Hughes like fear of germs.

3 points for 3 points
So, what can Bayern do in this match to come away with a desperately needed 3 points? These things seem so basic, and yet we haven’t seen much of them.
1) Maintain a sustained attacking tempo.
Too often we have seen a 7 or 8 minute buildup in possession and attack disperse too easily. I don’t expect to see end to end action, despite Leverkusen’s new found confidence. Slop and speculation in the offensive end needs to be curtailed. As always, Schweini will be a key measure of this.
2) Stingy Butt
It’s so perfect actually, because I do have two meanings here. I want to see Mark Van Bommel really pushing the limits and putting people on their rear ends. Despite Leverkusen’s adept dead-ball skills, Bayern ultimately stand to benefit from controlling the pace and intimidating the visitors. In addition, we’ll need the best out of Jörg Butt, who despite seemingly not holding much of a grudge against his former employers, ought to find a way to get mad at them for 90 minutes.
3) Make Lemonade
Continue to give Braafheid and Altintop opportunities. These are players who do have the ability to create off the dead balls, and since there is no natural playmaker on the field without Robben, the frees and corners become all the more important. The last thing I want to see is Toni/Gomez trotting on in the 70th minute to add a 3rd striker who flops around for 20 minutes creating nothing.

The Toni we need
Of late, it’s been Bayern’s own Toni Kroos who’s been garnering the headlines and the highlight videos for Bayer 04. With 3 goals in the last 5 matches, and two highlight reelers among them, the still-only 19 year old is progressing nicely. Of course there will be a danger that Kroos will never come back to Bayern, especially after his oft-promised future #10 was given to Arjen Robben. Undoubtedly, Rudi, Jupp, Uli and Christian will sit down for a little chat on the subject this weekend. However, I don’t think putting him on loan was such a bad idea at the time. At a basic level, Kroos needed to play. It’s perhaps only a shame that Bayer is not playing in Europe this season, although Kroos did get some seasoning the UEFA Cup campaign two seasons ago. Kroos gives his own rather unrevealing views to the official Bayer 04 website in an interview posted today.

Always looking forward
One thing to remember when pining for Toni Kroos-the great teams don’t just have potential stars, they have potential constellations. And while Bayern II may sit 20th and last in the 3. Liga at present, there are still things to get excited about. Presenting: David Alaba

FC Bayern Munich has reacted with distress and shock to the news of the death of Germany international goalkeeper Robert Enke (32) on the evening of Tuesday 10 November 2009.

We, the board of directors, officials, players and members of the club greatly mourn the loss of Robert Enke. Our deepest condolences at this time go to his wife, his daughter and his family.

See also: This remembrance from former Bayern defender Patrick Andersson, a teammate of Enke’s at Mönchengladbach and Barcelona.

Clearly, I don’t want to write a match review. I’d simply make two points about the match itself. It was a relative slight improvement at least over the Bordeaux match, and also you could pretty much see the Hoffenheim or Bremen match as pretty reasonable facsimiles of the performance.

All the frenzy and attention has mostly been given to Philipp Lahm (see Jan’s superb initial summary here), but I want to start out by talking about Luca Toni. It’s quite surprising to me that most commentators are willing to gloss over this quitter’s command performance. In fact, I am even inclined to say that in American sports, Toni’s actions would be seen as more detrimental to the team than Lahm’s. Once again, the Schalke match was the catalyst for a superstar quitting on the team. Last season against Schalke, when Ribery earned a red card, I was sure his career at Bayern was over. I was convinced the board would stick with Klinsmann, simply because they had invested so much in him, and it was clear that Ribery gave up on the team on that occasion. Stranger things have happened but Luca Toni gave up on this team on Saturday, and no matter who is sitting on the bench in January, Toni needs to be handed his walking papers during the break. Even if Bayern are required to subsidize his entire salary, it would be better for him to watch his World Cup dreams die in his homeland than have him moping around the Sabener Strasse another 7 months. It might have been a lot different with Toni. As comedic in his pratfalls as thrilling in his goal scoring prowess (once), he might have carved out a unique, enduring image in an already large pantheon of Bayern characters. But it seems to all have come to an end with a whimper, and years from now we’re likely to remember Toni sort of like this:

“Remember Luca Toni, that one year?”
“Yeah”
“What happened to him?”
“Well, he kinda got old, I guess, just fizzled out”

At least Toni is lucky enough that we probably won’t remember he just packed up his bags in the middle of a match.

Philipp Lahm is right. But Philipp Lahm is wrong.
The small man with the now-big voice is drawing praise from all quarters for his intellectual challenge to the Bayern board on a host of fronts. But I think there are two points being overlooked here. First, Lahm’s critique doesn’t immediately validate every piece of criticism that comes from every know-it-all writer or fan. Second, the board is absolutely correct in deeming Lahm’s actions an “absolute taboo” and substantially fining him. You have to question what Lahm was hoping to accomplish by taking his admittedly nuanced and generally accurate views to the court of public opinion. Did he just wish to fan the flames a bit more so that an inferno takes hold at the annual meeting in a couple weeks? Does he think his opinion matters enough to alter the viewpoints of a very stubborn though very successful leadership? Was he simply tired, as a native Munchener, of being confronted by the man on the street with “Hey, what the hell is up with the team, Philipp?” and in a moment of frustration decided to let his mouth run? On Monday, Lahm met with the board, and the club issued a classically understated “everyone has kissed and made up” statement. But this one’s going to reverberate for a while. For me, it brought up a few opinions:

1) It’s easy to forget how injured this team has been. When Louis van Gaal is criticized for his constant lineup changes, it is rarely realized how many of these he has been forced into. With the exception of Gomez, all of the strikers have been injured (I also happen to believe Klose was injured much more severely early on than has been made known publicly). You’ve had serious injuries with Robben, Ribery and Van Bommel. Demichelis and Braafheid, while probably less critical, are also injuries that have weakened depth. The team has probably been lucky to dodge a couple bullets with Daniel van Buyten’s injuries occurring at just the right time. Bottom line: If we’d have played the entire season with the lineup available against Wolfsburg or Dortmund, even at a median level of form, we’re probably neck and neck with Leverkusen.

2) It is only natural that there is a sense of a “team philosophy” vacuum in the current moment. The leadership is somewhat in transition, with Nerlinger still finding his role within the club. The club simply can’t recover from hiring Klinsmann and gearing its policies towards his nebulous philosophy quickly enough to give LVG all the raw material he needs immediately. The timeline of decisions and purchase agreements supports this. I believe the only real unmitigated transfer disaster thus far has been Pranjic, although I do believe Pranjic was brought in more a) as a hedge just in case Ribery was sold and b) to serve in more of a Brazzo/jack-of-all-trades role. It seems commentators harp on the Gomez transfer. Why buy him when you have Toni? Well of course, Gomez was bought to replace Toni. That the club might enjoy a season of having extraordinary depth at the position doesn’t seem ridiculous to me.

3)It is all good and fine to criticize the management for not appreciating the precept that a team is not just a sum of its parts, and also for not addressing critical needs. We sat here all summer in awe that they didn’t acquire a keeper and a right back. But what was missing from Lahm’s comments, and what is of vital importance is that at some level these players need to take responsibility. Because despite whatever mismatched parts may have to link up on the pitch in any given week, this team is still far too talented and creative to turn in this string of results. I would like to have heard a lot more about what Philipp Lahm can do better than what everyone else can do.

Much of what I’ve argued above is the reason why I will continue to stand behind Louis van Gaal. Of course, I won’t shed a tear if we’re 10 points back at the break and the board decides to can him as well. But, the problem is on the field, not on the bench. And I’m afraid Lahm’s criticisms, while quite valid, are endemic to this moment in time at the club, as a result of the coaching changes. It’s just too simple to say “Hey, Hoeness and Rummenigge don’t know what they are doing”. If that were the case, no one would have selected Bayern as their preseason favorite, but virtually everyone did. But what Lahm might have been trying to say in his way, and what I might be trying to say in mine, is that there have been mistakes made, mistakes of a sort that have to run their course and aren’t fixable immediately.

Mobben?
Although there isn’t an exact statistical “aha!”, there is a very close correlation between the distribution of Thomas Müller’s assists and goals and Arjen Robben’s presence on the field. Through all the hype and all the focus on on our misfiring forwards, have we perhaps overlooked the possibility that this pair last seen as before and after pictures for hair restoration, may be able to rough up the competition without their 3rd camarade?

Man in the Mirror:
Last season, the Altintop brothers did not face off against each other in the Bundesliga. Done groaning? Hamit missed the first match, and in last spring’s match in Munich, Halil was subbed off just before Hamit was subbed on. Or at least that’s what the official records show, seems a little convenient from the prankster-analysis point of view. As Hamit has played a grand total of 3 minutes in the Bundesliga since September, their interaction may again be limited to exchanging trikots which conveniently already have the correct name on the back.

What I’m looking forward to:
With Badstuber, Holtby (declared fit by Magath on Thursday), Höwedes and Müller likely to all be on the pitch together at some point Saturday, with the 23 year old graybeard Neuer in goal, there’s going to be a whole lot of the future of German football on display. Let’s hope they all give us an early career highlight reel.

Number play(the section where I do get lazy and steal from Jan):

0: Number of matches Schalke has lost away this season.

0-1: The scoreline in Felix Magath’s first home match as Bayern coach versus Schalke

1: The number of European matches won this season by FC Bayern and Hertha Berlin.

3: The number of goals Bayern has allowed at home this season, but alas, the number of goals that Schalke has allowed away this season.

22: Number of days Franz Beckenbauer has left as president of Bayern Munich. Unless he declares himself president for life. Wouldn’t put it past him.

99: The number of Bundesliga matches Manuel Neuer has played going into Saturday, as well as the number of Bundesliga goals Kevin Kuranyi has scored going into this weekend. Let’s try to keep it to one milestone, fellas.

And from the “not that scheisse again” department:
218: Minutes since Bayern scored a goal, in all competitions.

Sort of stat of the week:
When you take a strictly goal per match average, Schalke has the best away defense in the league, but guess who’s second? I was surprised to find it was Cologne. Tied for third were Bayern and Wolfsburg.

The Prediction
Headline writers will be itching for a scoreline they can work with. 2-0 to Bayern, a magical return to form! 1-0 to Schalke, Van Gaal raus! Unfortunately for all of them, my call is 1-1.

But back to the business at hand. Babbel finds himself on somewhat similar footing to Lucien Favre before the ax fell in Berlin. After an improbable, (though admittedly less surprising) charge to the top of the standings in the 2nd half of last season for which he was given much credit, it may be his club’s inability to gel with new parts that has withered the spirit of last season’s rise. Babbel appears to be pretty far out on the plank, despite “votes of confidence”. This is a team that has lost 3 in a row in the league, and only managed to beat Freiburg and Frankfurt. And we know well that you don’t even need to be at your best to manage this feat. And while the numbers bear out that Stuttgart has indeed put forward effort, especially with regard to it’s last two losses against Schalke and Hannover, the squad looked sloppy and careless in its midweek Pokal loss to Greuther Fürth.

It won’t get any easy with the Bavarians coming to town, especially with Cacau and Sami Khedira out, while Ciprian Marica remains a question mark. Babbel has faced Bayern twice as Stuttgart coach, losing in humiliating fashion at home is last year’s DFB Pokal, and in Munich on the final matchday last season. You can track more of the story over at the Stuttgart Offside.

As for Bayern, the match will have special meaning for Mario Gomez, returning to his long-time home for the first time. Frankly, I’m a bit tired of young Bayern strikers being a little too sentimental for their old teams but perhaps we’ll be spared Mario laying face down and crying for Stuttgart if he actually scores a goal.

Almost lost in the shuffle of other news was the fact that Arjen Robben has been declared doubtful for the match. This seems a little bit surprising, considering he’s had a week to work up his fitness since the first Frankfurt match. Louis van Gaal indicated that he’d like to save him for the Bordeaux match, but frankly, I think Robben needs to be ready to contribute if the match is still competitive in the last half hour.

I expect Stuttgart to come out fired up, so the main thing is for the team to maintain its composure and not make any stupid mistakes in the first 15 minutes or so. Once we sustain the initial pressure, we ought to have the creativity and one on one advantage to produce the chances to win the match. I’m calling 2-1 for Bayern.

Demichelis drops turd in punch bowl
So after a 4-0 win in which we actually looked like Bayern, everyone’s happy right? Not so fast! Martin Demichelis didn’t take long to start complaining very publicly about his role at the club. First of all, let’s explain a few things to Micho. Comparing your situation to Mark van Bommel’s is like comparing Rotkohl and Spargel. For one, Micho, you are not the captain of the team! Your name is not Martin van Demichelis (don’t think that doesn’t make a difference!) I’m not at all certain Van Bommel would have come back into the lineup as quickly if it weren’t for the fact that we’ve been forced into playing a 4-4-2. Plus, you didn’t have to go play with the amateurs like Van Bommel and Toni were forced to do before coming back. And finally, are you really going to argue that your presence on the pitch is more valuable or deserved than Daniel van Buyten’s at the moment? Because I don’t think LVG is going to stick your right-footed ass in Herr Badstuber’s place. Ah, that’s better. Now, go help keep a clean sheet against Bordeaux and maybe we’ll think about letting you out of the Bayern Offside doghouse.

For his part, Sosa greeted the news humbly. “I cannot complain. My fellow players have always treated me fairly. I just did not use my chances,” he told the club website.

Sosa came to Munich in 2007 for a fee of 6 mil. Euros. He managed just 2 goals and 1 assist in 35 Bundesliga matches over the last 2 1/4 seasons, and undoubtedly the critics will point to him as just another example of Bayern’s poor personnel decisions over the last few years.

But his place in Bayern lore will always be secure, because of one magical moment in Madrid. It was Sosa who delivered the cross to Luca Toni, who headed in Bayern’s third goal in the dying seconds of extra time to earn a 3-3 draw and passage through on the away goals rule, completing the most improbable and emotional of comebacks against Getafe in the UEFA Cup in 2008. Long live the one shining moment of Jose Ernesto Sosa.

1) I looked at Frankfurt’s goal about 7 times on replay, and the best that I can come up with, is that it really was a freakish chance. Maybe Lahm gave up on his pursuit a little easily, maybe Van Bommel and Van Buyten were a little clumsy and slow to react, but overall, that was just a weird one.

2) I expressed a lot of frustration with Bastian Schweinsteiger in this space last week, and in the liveblog as well. I will continue to do so, until he finds some consistency in his game. His slow and sloppy play on Saturday was a major contributor to a scoreless first half. It continues to be all or nothing with Schweini, and I’m not sure what can be done to get him back to the consistent form that he has shown in the past. On the other end of the spectrum, a not quite ready for prime time Arjen Robben was ready enough. He more or less stole a goal from Gomez (ok, maybe Mario would have found a way to muff the rebound too), but his appearance changed the whole pace of the match, as we’ve come to expect.

3) As was well discussed in the liveblog, our set piece play is awful. There isn’t a lot of point in penetrating and earning frees and corners if the team doesn’t know what it wants to do with them (see Schweini and Tymo) or doesn’t execute them well (see Van Buyten, Pranjic, and to a lesser degree, Badstuber). I’m not sure what can be done to improve it, aside from Ribery scoring more amazing goals like the one in Dortmund.

4) Almost universally, those of us in the liveblog were incredibly disheartened by Louis van Gaal’s decision to sub in Demichelis for Toni. It seemed to be a “let’s not lose the 1 point” substitution. None of us realized that he was actually putting Van Buyten forward, and I watched it again to see if I had just been distracted. As it was, Daniel hardly appears on-screen in the broadcast until the 2nd goal is scored. So, this may be a case where a spectator might have had a better idea of what was going on than an international TV viewer. At any rate, LVG deserved neither praise nor scorn for the substitution. Of course, he’s a genius if it works. And he’s an idiot if it doesn’t. Not that he would ever admit the latter. So, the goal was luck, but not pure luck. Any statistical analysis bears out that Bayern had a ton of chances throughout the match, and to some degree that indicates making a lot of your own luck.

5) Strangely, it would be easy to skip over the man of the match: Thomas Müller. Of course, his skillful header set up Daniel van Buyten for the game winner, but it was his cross in to Gomez that set up the equalizer as well. When he is not the only one finishing chances, he seems to be the only one setting them up. After a rocky, foul-ridden start, he straightened out his game and was the best player on the field again for Bayern.

Pokal-Spiel live on ESPN 360
You will not be seeing a rerun! Wednesday’s German Cup match at Eintracht Frankurt will be shown live on ESPN 360, and we will be running a liveblog here at the Bayern Offside. Continental Europe is only 5 hours ahead of the Eastern time zone this week, so the match will take place at 3:30 p.m. Eastern time. There is a chance we’ll be able to pipe a feed of the match into the liveblog. So those of you without ESPN 360, please come by, and we’ll try to accommodate you! We should see the same starting 11 for Bayern.

In the news
With all the stories swirling around Schalke’s possible emergency fire sale, it was only a matter of time before the Manuel Neuer rumors started again. Günther Jauch (who made an appearance in this space as the graphic presence of the “Who Wants to be a Goal Scorer” entry), claimed he had a good source that told him that Neuer to Bayern was a done deal in the winter break. Felix Magath was quick to deny it once again. Whether Jauch, who is not exactly a Gelsenkirchen insider is on to something or not, I think the story of this transfer is not if, but when.

Reunion with Klinsmann this weekend?
With Stuttgart falling prey to Fürth in the Pokal on Tuesday, the Markus Babbel death-watch is on. Babbel still has a job as of this writing. Although Marcel Koller seems to be the most frequently-linked name to the Stuttgart job, some sources are pointing to a meeting between Klinsmann and Stuttgart President Erwin Staudt. Ok, this is probably the worst kind of rumor mongering, but maybe the only thing better than seeing the lame duck Babbel on the sideline against us on Saturday would be the confused-looking Klinsmann trying to put Alex Hleb in touch with his inner chi….or something.

So begins our twilight-zoney pairing with Frankfurt, who we will see again midweek in the Pokal. From the injury desk, Bayern will be without Braafheid, Breno, Olic and Ribery. Robben’s status has not been declared publicly. He is said to be fit although Louis van Gaal has indicated that Robben won’t start under any circumstance. It remains to be seen whether LVG will use any shock-therapy type benchings as a response to Wednesday’s loss, but as I’ve indicated, I would like to see Schweini out of the lineup.

Eintracht comes into the match having defeated Hannover 2-1 last weekend. Of course, I never consider Hannover a useful measuring stick. That match was preceded by combined 0-5 losses to Schalke and Stuttgart. The club has shown a marginal improvement under Michael Skibbe, and an opening day defeat of Bremen seemed to establish some early confidence that has waned a bit. Frankfurt will be without forward Ioannis Amanatidis, their leading scorer. Greek compatriot Nikolaos Liberopoulos, himself a proven Bundesliga scorer, will likely take his place in a 4-1-4-1 formation for the visitors. However, let’s also keep in mind that Eintracht’s one goal against Bayern last season was scored by Martin Demichelis.

Once again, Bayern will likely be faced with a packed defense that will swarm to the back. The advantage may come from Frankfurt’s penchant for fouling. Their match with Schalke reads like a street fight. Not unexpectedly, their frequent fouling has contributed to 3 red cards so far this season. Whether or not an opponent gets sent off, expect more set piece opportunities this week than we saw against Cologne and Freiburg, and let’s hope we have the personnel on the field to take advantage of them. I’m expecting a spirited response from the squad and I’ll predict a 3-1 victory.

Why you shouldn’t panic
Following the Pokal match in Frankfurt and next weekend’s visit to Stuttgart, Bayern fall into a very fortunate scheduling situation: they will play consecutive Champions League and Bundesliga matches at home. Add to that an international week, and you will see that Bayern’s next away match is not until November 29..in Hannover. Essentially, an entire month at home. The only other away match on the Bundesliga schedule in this calendar year is in Bochum. Additionally, the best way to move up the table is by head to head victories over those above you. A win tomorrow may do very little in resetting the table, but beating Leverkusen and Schalke (and you may have fair skepticism about accomplishing that, I grant you) in those back to back home matches would do quite a bit to realign the table to a more familiar order. The tabloid press are really enjoying the Van Gaal-Klinsmann comparison right now. Well, there may be another. Starting October 18 last season, Bayern went on a 5 match Bundesliga win streak and didn’t miss taking a single point at home the rest of the calendar year. The streak began after the infamous Bochum debacle, in which two late goals gifted the visitors a point. All deficiencies considered, when you weigh being at home for a month, I think things are about to take a turn for the better.