Louis van Gaal’s Nursery
By: Luke | November 23rd, 2009‘A player can’t choose which position he wants to play in, This is not a musical request program and it remains a decision exclusively for the coach.’
Sounds kind of rough, hmm? You’ll find the source at the end of this piece.
Louis van Gaal will in all likelihood, be out of a job by the end of December. He could in fact, be out of a job a week from now, though I don’t believe anything will happen until at least next Monday, pending results of course. And yet, he will hardly be to blame. If his greatest sin is being a pedantic egotist, he is in fine company across the football coaching fraternity. Never mind the never-ending, though valid debate about whether the parts he’s been given actually fit together on the field. There is no debate about whether these players believe they belong together on the pitch. If they aren’t Dutch, or haven’t gained playing time this season, they’ve been ruthlessly selfish. Van Gaal himself seemed exasperated in his brief post match comments. So I went looking for advice that might be helpful.
Franck Ribery pretty much insisted from day one where he was going to play. And exactly how much fun he was going to have doing it.
The crying in some colicky babies begins after the feeding when they may have been either overfed or underfed. Extended crying before the feeding is seen with a hungry baby.
Luca Toni, whose presence on the field we were mercifully spared on Sunday, couldn’t even find it in him to apologize to the coach for leaving the stadium mid-match. Philipp Lahm took it upon himself to tell the world of all the ills he perceived behind the closed doors of FC Bayern. He followed up his critique with possibly his worst match ever in a Bayern uniform, and could only be thankful that Thomas Müller edged him out for worst man of the match. Still willing to keep patting Lahm on the back?
You may find that the periodic irritable baby can benefit from being held, or walked, or rocked. He may be comforted by another feeding. Or simply a pacifier in his mouth will give him comfort.
Mario Gomez decided his paycheck entitled him to minutes, whatever the situation.
Your fretful baby may have a harder time adjusting to a schedule. Usually they fuss the first three months, but soon become adjusted to the outside world and calm down later.
Martin Demichelis, who has a history of feeling entitlement, demanded his starting spot back. In a sign of Van Gaal’s weakening authority, he got it.
The baby has no other way to communicate his needs to eat except to cry.
Michael Rensing actually didn’t complain all that much, but it seems Van Gaal followed the proscribed advice for him.
A hypertonic baby is very jumpy and doesn’t relax well. This baby is bothered by sudden movements, loud noises, and sometimes is very uncomfortable in a tub bath. He may also have symptoms of colic or periodic irritable crying. If you suspect your baby is a hypertonic one, then he may be comforted by swaddling him in a receiving blanket.
Of course, all the above advice was excerpted from “Dr. Spock’s The First Two Years: The Emotional and Physical Needs of Children from Birth to Age 2.” I do try to resist the notion of calling a group of professional athletes a bunch of babies. But I was inspired to take this tack after reading a quote today from Holger Badstuber, who said in TZ (I am roughly translating) “Our fans are really extreme. That also doesn’t help us”. I could write a whole piece simply on how frustrating that was to read. But, I decided I would test my baby hypothesis instead. Pretty good results, no?
Oh, let us also not forget the injuries. The English language announcer in the ESPN 360 feed made a subtle swipe at Bayern’s “illustrious bench”, but did you see that list? Kraft, Ottl, Lell, Breno, Olic and Baumjohann. Altintop, all set to start according to kicker just before the match, pulled up lame in the warm up. How on earth do you implement your system with this group? Despite the team with seemingly endless depth now hardly having any, LVG tried. The use of Olic was just desperation, but in some ways Baumjohann was the best Bayern midfielder out there on Sunday.
Sight seen on Sunday: The Hoeness brothers conversing at halftime. Was Dieter putting a bug in Uli’s ear one way or the other about Lucien Favre? Or was Dieter asking if he could also get his mug on a commemorative scarf?
When meltdowns were fun
Since there was some chatter on our boards about Trapattoni the last couple days, and Louis van Gaal simply hasn’t done anything funny lately, here’s the best Trap meltdown remix, in my opinion
The quote
And so who spoke those rather harsh words? Louis van Gaal in his Barcelona days? Felix Magath on his way out the door? Well, it was none other than Ottmar Hitzfeld, commenting on the insubordinate Martin Demichelis, who refused to play in midfield in a 2008 match at Cottbus. Demichelis soon profusely apologized and went about his work helping set a Bundesliga record for fewest goals against. But these days, the apologies are rather hollow, and going about one’s work, not in the cards. Louis van Gaal can’t take the free kicks for you, boys.
Category: Team News
Tags: 1. Bundesliga, Bayern Munich, Franck Ribéry, Giovanni Trapattoni, Hamit Altintop, Holger Badstuber, Ivica Olic, Louis van Gaal, Luca Toni, Mario Gomez, Martin Demichelis, Matches, Michael Rensing, Ottmar Hitzfeld, Philipp Lahm, Players, Recaps, Team News, Thomas Muller, Uli HoenessSubscribe
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Comments | Add your comment
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truly, fc hollywood has returned, all-week, all-day and all-action. what a shame for Bayern. who are benefiting from their mess?
Posted from
Philippines
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If LvG goes his replacement needs to be an expensive, world class manager that no player would dare to speak against or about in public for fear of the managers’ reputation.
LvG was an unknown, so players maybe felt they were above him (Ribery, for example) and had no fear talking smack-talk off the pitch – or leaving the stadium half way through a game.
Bayern spends big bucks on players, lets do the same for our management and coaching staff. We need, and frankly deserve it.
Posted from
Ireland -
If Louis van Gaal does go then his replacement shouldn’t necessarily be a high profile foreign manager. It seems that Bayern do best with old school German managers like Hitzfeld, Magath and even Heynckes late last season (why wasn’t his contract made permanent?), even if the football isn’t pretty.
However, I guess they must be in short supply.
Also the Bayern old guard, aka their board, don’t exactly help matters either by publicly criticising and undermining the coach and players in their newspaper columns and media interviews. I wonder who would want to manage Bayern if Van Gaal were to be sacked.
Posted from
United States -
kevin, LvG unknown? where have you been the last 15 years.
Posted from
United States -
Peter: Unknown is the wrong word, but he’s certainly not one of the top tier, “famous” managers in Europe that would strike fear and discipline into the players we have.
Posted from
Ireland -
LvG, even being the egotist that he is, is being made a scapegoat. Bayern’s board allows the players to dictate everything because they will never fully back a coach and the players know that if they don’t like who they have they can all just stop playing and get someone new. The fact of the matter still remains that there are so many players out, and the ones who remain just don’t seem to be playing all that hard…
That said, as long as Juvi does not win and Bayern can beat Maccabi at home (not really a given anymore with the total lack of effort and warm bodies recently), Bayern will still control their destiny in the CL again, though they would have to win in Italy, a daunting task even when times are good.One word about last weeks game… If Adler had been our goalie, the score would have been 2-0. He almost certainly would have saved the goal we let in and he robbed Gomez late. One of the best saves I’ve seen in a long time.
@ Kevin: My heart bleeds for you bro. That nonsense in the Ireland-France game ranks near the top of the worst referee no calls of all time with ‘the hand of god’ goal. Maybe even worse when you figure in Henry was offsides to begin with. I am not irish and was screaming at my monitor when that play happened.
Posted from
United States -
Actually, I have a better idea… If the board feels it’s the coach’s fault, maybe one of them should try to coach the team themselves…
Posted from
United States -
@ Roger, that has happened in the past with Beckenbauer twice standing in as interim coach in 1993/1994 and again in early to mid 1996!
Posted from
Australia -
The players do not seem to be responding to Van Gaal anymore. I caught the 2nd half of the Leverkusen match, and didn’t even realize Klose was on the pitch until he was substituted. Toni is virtually gone in January too.
These are signs that unless the coach does a complete about-face, he will never win over the players, and thus needs to be replaced. The only time I saw a coach change his attitude/tactics/approach with players and seriously succeed was Tom Coughlin with the New York Giants (sorry non-American readers). http://www.nydailynews.com/sports/football/giants/2007/11/04/2007-11-04_tom_coughlin_has_turned_image_and_giants.html
There’s no guarantee that approach will work at Bayern though, in which case, there isn’t much choice other than have Van Gaal leave and make Bayern the Oakland Raiders of world football…
Posted from
United States -
Klose is either injured or hasn’t cared all season. He has been almost invisible. He has no goals in either Champion’s league or Bundesliga, and if Olic is healthy that’s where I’d play him, in Klose’s spot. As badly as people speak of Gomez here, at least he has 4 goals in 8 Bundesliga starts… I don’t care what else he does in the game, or how many times he is offsides, as long as he scores. Actually in the Leverkusen game (only saw the second half, I golf on Sundays) there were at least 2 offsides calls against him that were bogus. Anyway, if it were me, I’d start Gomez and Olic up front and give Mueller a chance to redeem himself for his weakest effort of the season on Sunday. You guys can say all the bad things you want about Gomez, but on Sunday he was the only forward who even tried until Olic came on the pitch.
As much as I like Schweini, he needs to have a few games on the bench to show him that he is not above sitting. His effort this year has pretty bad too. Really surprised he did not make your baby list. There are so many who deserve to sit right now. Too bad the bench is so depleted.
@A Kap: I do understand your players not responding, but the Bayern board has always made it clear they have no patience at all with a coach, and the players know they can keep bitching, complaining and the like until they get someone they like. It’s time the board either stands behind the coach or makes it clear the inmates run the asylum. If the second is the case, a new dark age will hit Bayern.
I don’t see how anybody other than Luke and myself see how depleted the roster is to begin with. Most times if a club loses half it’s starting roster, it’s hard to compete whatever the sport. That has a lot to do with where things are and nobody here or on the board seems to even recognize it.I like your Oakland Raiders analogy A Kap. It’s not that bad yet, I hope.
But really, the coach has no real chance to win over the players because unless he coddles them, the players know they can have him replaced by midseason because the board won’t back anyone anyway…
Maybe it’s time to replace the board…
Posted from
United States -
I agree Roger, that the board is at probably most at fault, but these guys wield so much power, not only at the club, but internationally as well (Kalle was Prez of the G-14, and der Kaiser could have seriously challenged Platini for the UEFA Prez post), that it will really take a lot to get them to leave.
I just wrote about Van Gaal leaving under the assumption that the all-powerful triumvirate will stay on as powerslaves no matter what.
Posted from
United States -
As you can tell I am getting very disillusioned with the board. I kind of thought the players needed a bit of a hard ass after the Klinnsman experiment, but you can’t be a hard ass unless you have full support of the management and the players know it.
Posted from
United States -
@Roger – haha, yeah. The press here are going nuts. In fairness the French media are too, with 80% of Le Monde readers voting for a rematch, of course FIFA won’t do that. We’ll be lucky if Henry (who admitted wrong-doing) even gets a few matches ban during the WC campaign. It’s a shame because that was the best football I’ve seen an Irish team play in years.
Hopefully the next few Bayern games can bring back my faith in football. Though I may be asking too much before Christmas!
Posted from
Ireland
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